10 months ago, I became a mother. I had been looking forward to that day my whole life. I grew up around lots of babies. I work with kids. I loved on other people’s children working in church. I wanted my own! I wanted to feel that love that mothers feel. Honestly though, I didn’t feel it. I felt the physical pain, I felt the amazement at how two real people with arms and legs and working organs came from inside of me, I felt their hearts beat as they laid on me, I felt awestruck at the beauty of my daughters, I felt some depression because I realized my previous life was over, and I felt guilt for that depression. But, I didn’t feel like a mother. I didn’t have that immediate connection with my babies. I didn’t have that “love at first sight” feeling. Until now, I’ve only told one person that because I thought it meant I was a terrible human being and I could never be a good mother. As they’ve grown and I’ve grown, I have become more than a mother. I’m a “Mom Mom”! Now I feel
grace upon grace.