On God and Being a Parent

“They may be heathens, but they’re my heathens.”

Or from Dolly Parton’s new special Coat of Many Colors- “You’re my worm.”

We loved them before they were born, and we fall in love with them when we meet them in person, when we get slobbery kisses, when they hug our necks, and when they learn to be sweet all on their own. But what about when our children are mean, hateful, aggravating, and not at all what we have been trying to teach them to be? We still love them. We love them because they are ours to love.

How does God love us? We are sinful and wretched worms. We are heathens. Even in our sin and shame, we are his creation. He made us and he knows us and he still loves us (Jeremiah 1:5, Romans 5:8). It's pretty astounding to imagine that love.

Google Search: How long to punish a child

I can’t bear to punish the girls all evening for something (even something terrible) they did at school.  At some point in their little brilliant minds, it stops being a lesson and starts being cruel.  I slip them a bit of grace.

Thank God for his grace. Amazing grace. He sees our sin and he knows our faults and he has already paid the price for it all (Romans 3:23-24). All we have to do is accept his grace. He couldn’t bear to see us in punishment for eternity, or even a length of time here on earth.  

But sometimes we hurt, and we think that pain is punishment for our past sins. It feels like punishment… read on.

Prayer: “Lord, protect them from evil. Don’t let them be abused or hurt.  Well, I mean, I do want them to learn and be used by you. I guess, well, don’t let them be hurt without a purpose. I guess just use your discretion...”

It is a gut-wrenching heart-breaking pain to see your baby hurt, no matter his age. I don’t think there is another feeling in the world like it. It’s that awful… and I haven’t even had to experience it to a harsh degree.

I can’t imagine knowing all their pain and having the ability to make it right, but not doing it. Why does God allow us to hurt and struggle and continue to cry out? I believe it’s for a purpose, even if it isn't coming from God himself. God has plans for our good (Jeremiah 29:11) and he lets us know that all things work together for our good when we love him (Romans 8:28). We must trust in him for ourselves and for our babies. He can use them and ALL of their experiences to bless the world. His plans for our children are even better than our own, and we have make some pretty epic plans!

“She won’t stop crying for me, so I better go see what she wants.”

You see what I’m getting at? When our babies cry out for us (what ever their age), we answer. We may not give the response they are hoping for. For instance, we may say “Lay down and go back to sleep” instead of “It’s 3 AM, do you want a sucker?”

Likewise, God hears our cries and he is faithful to answer us (Psalm 116:1-2).  We don't always get what we want or even what we are so positive we need, but we get his perfect response. Often we wait to call on the Father until we have exhausted every other option. We should learn from our children to call on the Father immediately! Sometimes calling “Daddy… Dad… Daddy… Daaaaaaad!” without any reason at all other than, “I love you.”

On being the base/safe zone/refuge

Tonight, the girls were playing Crocodile (one of their favorite pretend games).  It’s where Olive chases Georgia around yelling “CHOMP CHOMP  you fingers!” and Georgia screams and climbs all over the furniture trying to get away.  Anyway, Georgia climbed up in my lap, let out a big sigh and said, “I’m safe now.”

How wonderful it is to have a refuge, to have the lap of God to climb into and sigh “I’m safe now.” Apparently I give the illusion of safety, but I am just fearful and cowardly, and I have a weak-stomach… but God! God really is a refuge in time of trouble (Psalm 46:1). How good it is to know that we are safe in him!

Dilemma in my mind: I don't want to spoil them, but I just love seeing their excitement when they open gifts!

 

Christmas is difficult. I want to buy and buy and wrap and wrap and give and give. I also want to teach lessons about loving and giving being a joy and getting stuff being not-so-important. Those things don't usually go well together. It takes some balance. But seeing those little surprised faces light up is magical! It's so hard to stop!

Even God is all about giving good gifts. He loves to shower his love on us and give us the desires of our hearts. I'm sure he has to hold himself back from spoiling us sometimes too (Matthew 7:11). 

I don't make these comparison to show myself to be ANYTHING like God. I make these comparisons to reveal how much God must love us. We love our babies with all we have in our weak little sinful human hearts, so how much more must the big powerful God the Father love us. Being a parent has opened my eyes to this great love. I think parenthood is God's way of giving us a glimpse at his heart for us. Just a glimpse though. 

So, basically, if you want to know a little bit more about how God looks at sweet little you, just have yourself a kid. Let that munchkin totally wreck your heart, mind, body and soul, and then see that they are always still worth it all.

Merry Christmas, friends!