The Difficulties of Living Vicariously

I keep seeing all these blogs and articles about how moms are sad or mad or down on themselves because their children are growing up in a world so much different than the one they grew up in. You used to be able to hang out with neighbor kids and now we have to schedule play dates. You used to have free time and now you feel the need to schedule every second of every day. You had siblings that were close to your age so you want to have biological playmates for your kids. Etc. 

I actually have the opposite problem. I am the mom trying to make up for what I now realize I missed in my childhood. I lived in a very rural area. There weren’t many activities or kid friendly places to go. Even if there were, my mom was often babysitting more kids than could fit in her Astro van and my dad was making a living for our family and wouldn’t be home until the weekend. We were stuck at home for two months of summer (except for county fair week, of course). But you know what? I didn’t know any different. I wasn’t begging for play dates and dance class and a visit to the splash pad every day. I played in the pool, ate hot dogs and popsicles, and used my imagination. That was summer... and it was my freaking favorite! I didn’t realize until I had kids that all this other stuff existed.

Now, I live in a city that has so many things for little kids to do. We could probably do something different every day of this summer. They have more friends at age 3 than I have as an adult. There are classes that they can take to become professional gymnasts, ballerinas, artists, swimmers, you name it, for only $250 a month (EACH). I feel the need to do so much with and for them because I don’t want my girls to miss anything. I don’t want them to be stuck at home all summer. 

Let me tell you a little secret though. Whether it was amazing or horrible, my kids don’t care about my childhood. They don’t even remember it! The truth is that the routine they know and understand is the one I am creating for them. And even after all the running around and head aches and drive thru lunches, I think their favorite summer activities are just playing Hide and Seek in the yard or pirate ship in the kiddie pool.

So, you might feel the urge to take your little ones to every kid friendly public event, or the pressure to enroll them in every extra curricular, or the need to keep them social by scheduling playdates every week, but I promise you, they don’t feel any of that.  If your child is having a good time and not becoming a little dictator in your life, then his childhood is perfect for him.

Moms! Let's take a load off. Relax. Give ourselves permission to be lazy. Play with our kids instead of being their activity managers. Enjoy our own summer, for goodness sakes!

And let’s be honest, all I needed to do to make my kids' childhood better than my own was get AC. Done.