Sleep Training for Moms Who Enjoy Sleeping

I read these great books while pregnant, and they really helped me prepare for sleep training twins, but of course there have been some surprises and lessons learned. Here is just a run down of the plan that worked for us. I am absolutely not saying that this works for everyone, but I am saying that it is probably worth trying if you need a plan and it worked for someone!

the importance of quality sleep and synchronized schedules

effective CIO and self soothing

Swaddling- For the first few weeks, the girls were swaddled at all times, unless it was eating time or tummy time. Then, they stayed swaddled for naptime and bedtime until about 3 months. My girls did NOT love this (I doubt any babies love it), but it was the only way they slept. Otherwise, they woke themselves up with uncontrollable flailing arms.

Always Swaddled

Sleeping Together- They slept together in one bassinet for about a month, then they ran out of room and needed their own. The twin Pak n Play with bassinets is amazing! They stayed in there right next to our bed until they were 7 months (reasons for that later). For about three months (until they could roll over), I kept them propped up at about a 45 degree angle when sleeping. They had, and still have, some reflux issues. 

So Happy Together...

Then not.

Self Soothing- I knew that rocking the girls to sleep would be a wonderful bonding experience, but I also knew it would be a long process multiple times a day for months and months to come. With that in mind, my girls were self-soothers from day one. I plugged those pacifiers in over and over and over until they took them. (I know, its so wicked, but man does it soothe a baby. I’m working on the weaning process right now, and no regrets.) The goal is to put them down when they are sleepy but awake. Do not wait until they are overly exhausted (that feeling of being too tired to go to sleep). Then they learn to put themselves to sleep. We can bond while they are awake!

            Signs a baby is sleepy;

                        -less movement

                        -sucking on fingers or paci

                        -yawning

                        -pulling on ears (Olive went to the Dr. many times over this trait)

            Signs a baby is over exhausted

                        -crying

                        -refusing to eat

                        -arching backward

                        -jerking movements

           

Quality Sleep- I don’t think all parents realize just how much QUALITY sleep a baby/toddler needs. Remember how exhausted you were when you were pregnant? Well, they haven’t gotten over that sleepiness yet! They are still growing astronomically every day. For the first 6 months or so, I tried to follow a tip that I read online about laying your baby down in various places to nap every day so they will be able to sleep anywhere regardless of noise, traffic, or comfort level. I thought it sounded like a brilliant idea. They napped on the couch, in their bouncy seats, in swings, in their bassinets, and finally in their cribs sometimes. Their naps continued to get shorter and they were always tired. I finally realized that some babies sleep ANYWHERE (and I’m jealous of their parents), but some babies need a consistent, predictable, and comfortable sleep routine. That is G and O! They are the type that wake up when the front door opens, when we are in the car and come to a stop sign, or when the channel changes and they are on the other side of the house. They are great sleepers, but they are light sleepers. I then did some better research, and read that putting your baby down in the same place, with the same routine, at the same times each day will give them a better quality of sleep! Duh (slap myself on the forehead)! Better quality of sleep means a happier baby! A happier baby means you can do more when they are awake! Therefore, it is okay that my life revolves around naps because otherwise it would revolve around tantrums. Since about 6 months, the girls have napped in their cribs with a fan blowing away from them (they got accustomed to that sound sleeping in our bedroom and it is a pretty good muffler for a loud daddy and dog).

Quality Sleep = Happy Babies

Awake During Nap Time- Now, I know that not all babies nap as much as mine. My girls play HARD and they have someone always there to wear them out. It’s quite tiring. It works. And even if it doesn’t, and they refuse to nap, they stay in their cribs anyway. They are awake and playing in their cribs right now, while I type this, but it’s nap time so that’s where they are staying. As long as they are safe and not crying (that means they are pooped), I leave them for the whole two hours. It’s at least a time of rest for them and for me. They really do love their room and cribs, and they aren’t alone. I don’t know if I would do the same thing so soon with a singleton. Also, I didn’t start this until they were content hanging out in their cribs, which started around 10 months or so.

Nap Schedule- This should to be flexible, but it also needs to work everyday for your kids (NOT YOU…my dear husband struggles to get that sometimes). As newborns, my girls slept for about 18 hours a day then it tapered off very slowly. they had to have three good 2 hour naps a day until they were a year old! A lot of people say that taking that evening nap out will get them to bed a little earlier or get them to sleep better at night. NOT TRUE for us. If they skipped the evening nap, it seemed like they mistook bedtime for naptime and woke up at 11PM ready to play. Not cool. The evening nap phased itself out at 12 months, and I am super happy with that. Now we have about 3 hours to go somewhere as a family if we ever get the guts (just kidding, we do). I hope to see the same easy transition happen down the road with the combining of the 10AM and 2PM nap, but I don’t have my hopes too high.

Crib Transition- Like previously stated, the girls stayed right by me at night until they were 7 months old. This wasn’t a parenting technique or anything, it was just convenient for me. I was working and didn’t want to go through that torturous transition during the work week, so we waited for Christmas break. It ended up being perfect timing for us. The girls could finally find and put their pacifiers back in their mouths, they were comfortable in their cribs from a consistent naptime, they weren’t eating or needing to be changed at night anymore, they had slept through the night several times, and they were self-soothing already. They did have to cry it out a few nights, and that is hard to listen to. I started with a 45 minute maximum crying time. They never cried that long. By now, I know if they cry for more than 20 minutes, either there is a poopy diaper or someone lost a paci. My girls are 20 minute max criers. That’s not every baby though. I’ve heard some people say that their child would literally cry the entire night if they left them. This transition will be a bit different for you.

Bedtime Routine- Around the time we transitioned to their cribs, we established a bedtime routine. It has changed a little over time, but we keep it pretty simple. We change into jammies (after a bath if it's bath night), then have a bottle or now cup of milk on the couch (this is the only time of the day they are usually allowed on the couch, and they go nuts), brush teeth, Mommy and Daddy carry them to their room, turn off the lights, turn on the fan and night light, say a family prayer (they are usually reaching for their crib by this point), everyone gets kisses, and we lay them down and walk out. If they do cry, they typically stop when the door closes behind me.

2AM- It is very difficult to be intentional and follow a plan when you hear a cry, shriek, or blood curdling scream in the middle of the night. That “Not again!” feeling is multiplied not by 2 but by about 1,000 when there is another still-adjusting baby in that room! I’ve heard and read that they learn to sleep through each other’s cries, and they do sometimes but you never know what might freak that second baby out and then you’ve got two inconsolable screaming babies to get back to sleep at 2AM.  Until G and O were about 9 months old, I was really bad about running in and scooping up the crier and just letting her sleep in our bed. This turned into sharing our bed with that baby for a week straight and not getting any sleep myself (I can’t sleep with a baby in my bed. I have nightmares all night about her falling or there being two but I can only find one or Tony rolling over on her or any number of awful possibilities).  I decided that I had to stick to my Cry It Out rules even in the middle of the night. They do sometimes cry longer than 20 minutes in the night, but that is because they have been woken up. I just stay in bed and wait for the 45 minute max. They very rarely go that long, but if they do, I go in. Usually, even then, everything is fine and they just need to get themselves back to sleep.

Traveling- I have learned a lot about how hard it is for babies and parents of little ones to travel and sleep in a new and different place. Anytime we went to visit family, the first few nights would be spent with everyone in one bed with little to no sleep. Naptimes were torture. And the girls were NOT the happy babies I wanted to show off. On our last trip to my parents’ house (at 13 months), the girls slept all night every night and took their regular naps everyday! What was the difference? Instead of putting them together in their twin Pak n Play which they were not used to and were uncomfortable in, I used two regular play yards and took their crib mattresses (they have mini cribs so the mattresses fit perfectly).  I put new sheets on their beds two days before we left and gave them their favorite blankies at that time too. When they were put down for that first bedtime at Mammaw's house, it felt and smelled just like their bed in their room in their house! Add the fan, and they got comfortable and sleepy real quick! This is probably the biggest victory of my momhood so far!

This is what their mini cribs look like.
Also, Uncle Kyle sneaking up on the poor babies.

Keep it Simple- Babies and toddlers (and kids and adults) can be overstimulated, even by relaxing things. Rain forest sounds, a fan, ten favorite blankies, a mobile, a heart beat simulator, four stuffed animals, and a star light show on the ceiling will keep your kid awake all night. It may take some time, but getting your child to go to sleep with fewer “soothers” is way better. Olive has recently become a Linus and insists on one of two certain blankies following her everywhere. But I think I have to draw the line there. Stuffed animals turn to play time, music becomes a distraction, and watching anything (TV, cell phone, light show on the ceiling) can keep the mind too busy for sleep. Sleeping will be easier for everyone in your house if you keep the routine nice and simple.

Hold Up- I mentioned there were some surprises... Around two months, the girls got nice and colicky. It was terrible, and a pretty big bump in my sleep training path. I tried everything to soothe them; swings, swaddling, gripe water, gas drops, colic calm, rocking them to sleep (YES, I broke my own rule). All this made it a little difficult to get my once self-soothers back, but they came around after a few weeks of rocking the bassinets less and less and singing one less song each night. Another hiccup was around 9 months when Olive started having night terrors. These were characterizes by blood curdling screams and inconsolable crying. At first, I scooped her up as fast as I could and tried to calm her. Then I read up on it and realized that she was screaming and crying in her sleep and the best thing for her was to let her sleep through it. She still does it sometimes (usually in week-long spurts) and it does wake Georgia up, but they are both normally back to sleep and silent within five minutes. However; If I go in the room, it’s a night-long crisis for everyone.

If you have any questions, or if I left anything out that you are curious about, please let me know. Good luck and sweet dreams.