Skip to main content

The Mommy Riddle

This is my adaptation to the duck, fox, corn riddle. I feel like I’m trying to solve a similar version of it all day long.

-You have a toddler who is walking but not in any directed manner.

-You have a second toddler who is also walking but falling down quite a bit still.

-You have a giant bag that includes all of your baby needs and maybe your wallet and sunglasses if you are lucky.

-You have a destination (mini-van/stroller/store/house/anywhere you need to go).

-You can only take one of your three things to this destination at a time, leaving two together. 

-The problem is…
*If left together, Baby A will bite Baby B and then run away.
Baby B will cry and attempt to strangle Baby A.

*If left with the bag, Baby B will dump it out and break your sunglasses.
She will then drag the extra clothes across the room and lay them on the dog.

*If left with the bag, Baby A will climb into it and poop.  
She will then try to get out, but trip on the handles of the bag and fall on her forehead.

*If left alone, Baby A will scream until she has lost her voice and rub snot in her hair.

*If left alone, Baby B will take off her shoes and vomit in both of them.

*If left alone, the bag will completely vanish.

So, how do you get everything to the destination?

If you can solve this riddle, you MAY be able to handle two kids…
But once you get both kids and your bag of essentials to your destination, you must choose between the following 8 riddles;

-How to feed multiple children and eat at the same time
-How to change a toddler’s diaper while blocking dresser drawers with both legs
-How to use the bathroom by yourself without any one getting hurt
-How to grocery shop with two cart riders
-How to play outside with multiple toddlers doing multiple things in multiple places
-How to drive while entertaining
-How to complete household chores in complete silence
-How to bathe, dry, and dress multiple children before getting poop everywhere

Really, it’s never ending. I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes, dreaming about these scenarios. But you know what they say… two are better than one "What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger". Right? Well, I love these feisty little things more than any lazy afternoon on the couch I've missed in the last year! I'll take their craziness any day.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Story for Mother's Day

My Kids Are An Embarrassment I am a pretty mellow, quiet, non-confrontational introvert. My dear lamb of a husband, Tony, is the complete opposite of all those traits in every way. He has joked for our whole 18 years together that our relationship is built on embarrassment- specifically the embarrassment that I experience due to his inappropriately hilarious behavior. He is the life of every party. Everyone knows him, and no one forgets him. In an attempt to sneak away from any social gathering and get home to my pajamas and books, I am usually slouching in his shadow, rolling my eyes but also laughing at his antics on the inside. His sense of humor is what won me over in the first place, after all. I didn’t realize, and neither did he, that Tony was only gently preparing me for life with children. Watch out moms! They are seriously so embarrassing. Every little secret you’ve kept, is suddenly common knowledge to the world. Did you tweeze two whiskers on your chin? Now the neighb...

Truly Becoming a Mother

10 months ago, I became a mother. I had been looking forward to that day my whole life. I grew up around lots of babies. I work with kids. I loved on other people’s children working in church. I wanted my own! I wanted to feel that love that mothers feel. Honestly though, I didn’t feel it. I felt the physical pain, I felt the amazement at how two real people with arms and legs and working organs came from inside of me, I felt their hearts beat as they laid on me, I felt awestruck at the beauty of my daughters, I felt some depression because I realized my previous life was over, and I felt guilt for that depression. But, I didn’t feel like a mother. I didn’t have that immediate connection with my babies. I didn’t have that “love at first sight” feeling. Until now, I’ve only told one person that because I thought it meant I was a terrible human being and I could never be a good mother. As they’ve grown and I’ve grown, I have become more than a mother. I’m a “Mom Mom”! Now I feel...

The Difficulties of Living Vicariously

I keep seeing all these blogs and articles about how moms are sad or mad or down on themselves because their children are growing up in a world so much different than the one they grew up in. You used to be able to hang out with neighbor kids and now we have to schedule play dates. You used to have free time and now you feel the need to schedule every second of every day. You had siblings that were close to your age so you want to have biological playmates for your kids. Etc.  I actually have the opposite problem. I am the mom trying to make up for what I now realize I missed in my childhood. I lived in a very rural area. There weren’t many activities or kid friendly places to go. Even if there were, my mom was often babysitting more kids than could fit in her Astro van and my dad was making a living for our family and wouldn’t be home until the weekend. We were stuck at home for two months of summer (except for county fair week, of course). But you know what? I didn’t know any...